


Eto Aho - I am right here

by YayaSamuko



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Be sure to have a handkerchief nearby, Cameos, Drama, Dying protagonist, Edited Version, F/F, Family, Femslash, Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangle, Romance/Friendship - Freeform, Shoujo-ai, Tragedy, Yuri, first-person point of view, terminal illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YayaSamuko/pseuds/YayaSamuko
Summary: My name is Kousaka Honoka. I am an average high school girl… or at least, what I though. After recently confessing my love to a friend, I got rejected and the day after, I woke up with an unbearable pain in the chest. I was sent into a hospital where I was told I was going to die in less than two months.





	1. Goodbye

_“My name is Kousaka Honoka, 16 years-old and a second year student at Otonokizaka high. I am member of the idol research club as well as the school idol group known as µ’s alongside eight awesome friends.”_

Everything started that day. I was silently sitting behind my desk in the usually boring classroom of the second years while the teacher was explaining something.

_“The truth is that… actually, I fell in love with someone.”_

My brain couldn’t register anything the woman was saying. I just stared blankly between the glass window and the blackboard without paying attention to my surrounding.

_“Her name is Minami Kotori. We knew each other since childhood. She is a kind, caring and supportive person. She is always there for me.”_

I occasionally stole some glance at the girl in question. The blowing wind coming from the open window made her long silky ash-brown hair dance to its pace. My hair was slightly blown by the wind as well, but I didn’t mind it as I returned into my little dream world.

_“Today, we don’t have practice. It’s the best opportunity to confess. I will do so as soon as class will end.”_

It seemed like a never-ending day. Class was boring as ever. I just spend the day watching the clock, hoping for the time to pass faster.

The long awaited bell finally rang after what seemed like an eternity. My heart started beating faster from mixed feeling. In one hand, I was happy that I was finally able to convey my feelings for my best friend, but I somehow felt scared. I didn’t know why I was afraid, maybe it was just nervousness.

I didn’t let these feelings perturb my new resolve though and quickly walked toward Kotori’s seat, without even tidying my stuffs. I had to make it as quick as possible.

“Ne; Kotori-chan!” I gave her the best smile I could. “Do you have a minute?” I tried to sound natural. I just hoped she didn’t think I was being weird.

“I guess it’s OK!” she returned back the smile.

I just waited for few seconds as she gathered her things before standing up. I led the way and she followed behind after we waved goodbye to our classmates.

It didn’t take long for us to get to the rooftop. I walked near the cell bars as Kotori just stood near the door. There was a brief silence as I thought of the best approach. _“Should I just say it boldly or should I turn around the pot a little?”_

The shorter among us was the one who break the awkward silence as she laughed nervously. “So, what did you wanted to tell me, Honoka-chan?”

Her voice, her tone, her adorable face… I loved them all… but what I loved the most about her was her caring and supportive personality.

I was starting to feel nervous and slightly fidgeted as I turned into her direction. I met her smile and regained confidence instantly. _“It’s now or never!”_

I gathered all the piece courage within each cell from my body. “The truth is that I love you Kotori-chan! I love your caring and gentle personality. I realized that I wanted to be always with you.” I paused an instant to catch my breath. “So do you want to by my girlfriend?”

An awkward silence was filling the air. My ash-haired friend was certainly shocked by that declaration. Then, her shocked expression turned into a sad one.

“Honoka-chan!” She looked down at her feet, avoiding eye contact. “I’m glad you like me that much, but...” she bit her lips. “...sorry! I can’t become your lover.”

“Why is that?” I asked in surprise.

“I’m sorry, Honoka-chan... I can’t accept your feelings.” She started to sob as I could see tears falling on her cheeks.

As I watched my friend breaking into tear, I could feel my vision blur and wetness on my cheeks. “Why?” I inquired in a low tone. She didn’t answer. She was just looking down, tears flowing from her eyes. That was when I realized my error. I realized it was a mistake to confess like that.

“I’m sorry, Kotori-chan! I asked you something impossible...”

“It’s not your fault, Honoka-chan” She talked again, still not looking at me. “I-It’s me the problem...”

“But what’s wrong?” I tried to ask her. That question only worsened the atmosphere..

“I-I can’t tell you... I’m sorry, Honoka”

I knew she didn’t want to tell the real reason of her refusal, so I tried to accept her decision. “I got it!” After gathering all my remaining strength, I did my best smile for my best friend “I won’t ask you about it anymore. So… could we stay friends”.

“Honoka-chan...” she tried to wipe away her tears “...I’m so sorry...”

We didn’t exchange any more word as we took different ways. As she went straight home, I decided to go back to the classroom to take my belongings.

It was annoyingly calm as the other students were all gone by the time I was done tidying my stuffs – since I took my time, making it slow to be sure that everyone was already gone. I wasn’t really on the mood to talk to anyone right at that time.

[-x-x-x-]

“Welcome home!” Mom greeted as I entered the house. "So, how was school?” Even though she smiled at me, I wasn’t feeling in the mood yet.

"It was ok..." I weakly answered her, the tone of my voice dull.

I was sure that she actually could realize it wasn't the case. Just as she opened her mouth, ready to ask something, I started looking at down at the floor. At the end, she didn’t say anything and just walked toward the kitchen. “Diner is already ready, so… How about you change first?”

I then excused myself and went toward my room without any word. Once in my room, the first thing I did was to lock the door and then fell directly on the bed with my eyes ready to cry again. I silently let go of all the tears until I was satisfied.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for my heart to be satisfied and I quickly whipped the remaining tears on my cheeks before changing into more casual clothes and went downstairs.

Dinner went without problem; I excused myself once again right after cleaning the dishes and went straight toward my room for a sleep.

_"I think I should rest for now.."_ I laid flat on the bed and closed my eyes after burying my head under a pile of pillow. _"I will see what to do tomorrow..."_

That was a very long night.

The morning, I was awaken by a pain in my chest. I was an unusual one. It pained me so much that I ended up screaming loud enough as Yukiho and my parents ran into my room in panic.

"What's wrong?" Mom asked, obviously concerned.

"My chest... my chest hurts..." I tried gasped to explain, my voice was shaking and near inaudible due to the pain.

Father quickly called a taxi and I was sent directly at the hospital. Of course, I fell unconscious on the trip due to the pain.

After regaining conscience, the first thing I saw was an unusual ceiling. It wasn't my room anymore. As to find a clue about the current location, I inspected the surrounding and it was hard to not realize that I was dressed in a blue pajama, lying on a hospital bed.

_"What happened? Why am I here?"_ As I was trying to remember what happened, Mom entered the room.

"Honoka, how are you? You really scared us, you know." I could see she was really concerned by her facial expression and the tone of her voice.

"I'm sorry, mom... I..." I couldn't find the right words. I just looked down and fidgeted with the white blanket.

We were interrupted by a young man who wore a white coat and had a small badge attached to it. He must have been a doctor. “Ah, you're awake, miss. How do you feel right now?” the first thing he did was to look at the serum placed by the bed’s side.

"I-I'm fine..." I answered weakly.

”Good! You will have to pass some tests later. Be sure to rest well for now.” After saying that, he just left the room. My deduction was that they were busy workers and had to move to the next patient quickly.

[-x-x-x-]

Four (04) hours has passed since the test. I was just sitting on the bed, bored of the TV. I tried to change my mind by reading a magazine but had no effect. Then, I just closed my eyes and counted.

Finally, my mother entered the room after I was on 2000. "Can you stand up?" She asked, not making direct eye contact. By the seriousness of her tone, even someone like me could have guessed that something was not right.

"Yes, I can!" I just answered, ignoring the nervousness that just built up in my chest.

"Then, come with me." She finally looked at me straight and I saw the seriousness expression on her face. I silently followed her until we reach an office.

As we entered in, we were greed by a young woman wearing a white coat that resembled what the guy from earlier had. Yukiho and my father were sitting around a table, eyes down as a gloomy atmosphere was filling the air.

The woman took place on a chair at the other side of the table as Mom and I took place across her. I could feel Mom’s right hand placing on my trembling hands – that were placed on my lap. One thing I realized that my skin was slightly paler than usual, especially for my hands… and on top of that, I couldn’t stop the shacking of my body. It wasn’t because of the cold since the room had conditional air and might have not been of fear because I knew that my family was there to support me.

"So, let's begging," The woman was the one who broke the silence. "After looking at your test results, it is revealed some abnormality about your body condition. We could have seen some damage within the heart, lungs and stomach area." She explained us and I just nodded in agreement.

She just turned around the discussion for a while as to explain what kind of result we got. She showed up some papers and after seeing that my eyes weren’t totally focused on the papers, she let out of a sigh.

"After analyzing your results, we came to a conclusion” She took a deep breath and looked at me with a gentle expression on her face while displaying a bitter smile. “You are going to die soon. You have two months remaining. We are really sorry! We did our best, but the damage within your organs were already too propagated." She said in a low voice.

I fell like crying, but nothing came. My mouth was just left agape as I stared at the woman. I could see her lips moving – surely to give more scientific explanation – but my brain couldn’t register anything anymore.

I saw her lips stopped and took it as a sigh that she was done. I just looked down at the table in from on of me. "I-I see..." That was all I could say.

I slightly lifted my head to see my parents looking down, the awkwardness and gloomy mood intensifying. Mom tightened her grip on my hands while Father was trying to comfort Yukiho. My sister was in a really bad state: messy hair, wet cheeks, and dull eyes from crying. I felt guilty for seeing her cute face being violated this way.

After staying silent for a while, the woman finally spoke again and brought a paper and a pen in front of me. There was lot of thing written on it, but I wasn’t in the mood or reading anything. I only knew what I had to do.

I took the pen with my shaky hand and wrote my name in the ‘signature’ field. After doing so, I placed the pen back on the table and looked at the woman. For some odd reasons, I couldn’t see her face, but a deep feeling inside of me told me she was someone I knew… At least, I saw few strands of red hair, but my vision was too unfocused to indentifying her.

[-x-x-x-]

That night, they cooked all the thing I likes. I forced myself to smile for them... but deep inside, I was cursing myself for being this hypocrite.

After dinner, I excused myself and went straight into my room. Not long after I was in the bed, I heard few knocks at the door.

"You can come in!" I said as Yukiho entered, squeezing a pillow.

"M-May I… sleep with you, tonight?" She shyly asked. How could I say no?

I just nodded in agreement as she walked in and slid into the bed. I moved at the side so that she could get enough space to sleep. After sliding inside the covers, we looked at each others and I couldn’t help but to giggle. Her face turned slightly redder, but no one decided to say anything.

"Good night, sis!" Yukiho placed a kiss on the check and closed her eyes. I soon followed her.

When I woke up in the morning, my cute red-head of little sister was still wrapped in my arms. I gently stroked her hair, trying not to wake her. I couldn’t help my lips from forming a smile.

After being satisfied on the ‘daily Yukiho cuteness watching session’, I finally slid out of the bed, doing my best for not waking her up.

I didn’t bother changing as I walked out of the room, still wearing the blue pajama they gave us at the hospital. I wasted no time and went downstairs where I was greeted by Mom.

"Good morning, honey! Do you want to eat breakfast right now or…" The older woman saw my arrival at the kitchen and gave a smile.

I just walked in and sat at the corner as she was still busy arranging the assets. "It’s ok!"

"Is Yukiho awake already?"

I just shacked my head from left to right in response, not in the mood for a long discussion. Talking has turned into such pain since the day before. I didn’t know how come, but I always ended up gasping for air while panting heavily just from telling few sentences. The doctors said that it was because of my damaged lings and heart.

"I see... I am going to wake her in that case.” Mom walked out of the kitchen after washing her hand. “I will be back soon!" She said while heading upstairs. I tried to give her a forced smile as I wasn’t in the mood either.

As soon as she was out of sight though, my expression returned into emptiness. I just turned and watched at the ceiling while spaced out. I let go of a loud sigh. _“It isn’t like me to act like this… What happened to the energetic Honoka that everyone knows?”_

They said I could have gone home the day before, but will be sent back to the hospital that day. They actually said something about staying there half-permanently for a while, but Father insisted and they agreed to let me go back the day before. _“I think they actually wanted us to have a last happy family moment.”_

"Sis, are you ok?" I was brought back into reality by a familiar voice. My attention was fully turned to my younger sister, clad in her middle school outfit. She was looking at me with concern in the eyes.

"I'm ok!” I tried my best to smile as to avoid the question.

We then ate, with Yukiho and Mom occasionally stealing few glances at me. After we were done with breakfast, Father went to open the shop while Yukiho gave me a kiss on the cheeks before walking out the house.

As the door opened, I caught the sign of a blonde-haired cutie standing at the side road. She was holding her bag with both hand and was busy listening to some song – in my deduction as she had earplug on her ears.

Said girl turned to us as Yukiho walked next to the girl. She took her earplug off and waved at us. “Good morning, Honoka-san!”

“Good morning, Alisa-chan!” I forced another half-heart smile. Fortunately, that was enough to convince her.

“Let’s go; Alisa!” Yukiho tugged on the younger girl’s blouse sleeve. “We will be late at this rate.”

[-x-x-x-]

After turning to the clock, I saw that it was already 10:00. I had to get ready fast as Mom was busy tidying few things. In less than an hour, I would be sent back to the hospital.

To my surprise when I walked down, I was greeted by six (06) familiar figures. I rubbed my eyes, thinking this was an illusion, but everything was real. Some members of µ’s were sitting around the kotatu while drinking tea.

Nozomi was the first to see that I have arrived. “Hi; Honoka-chan! We came to visit you!”

The others soon turned to where the fortuneteller’s attention was. I saw their faces brighten instantly as Rin jumped at my direction and engaged me in a bone-breaking hug. “Honoka-chan; nya!”

I couldn’t help but to smile at the thought that they went to say goodbye. They apparently got the chairwoman’s approbation.

We talked about more stuffs like clothes, food, makeup and such. They didn’t mention anything about my terminal illness not even once. Everything went well until I finally realized that two persons were missing.

I didn’t have to ask anything as Umi caught on my expression as if she was some kind of psychic. “Kotori got ill and couldn’t get to school today. The Principle told us that she caught a cold and will be back to school by tomorrow.”

I was somehow surprised to hear that she got sick and felt more guilt at the thought. _“Is she in that bad state because of what I did?”_

“Maki-chan couldn’t make it either.” Nico was the one that broke the awkward silence that just installed itself few seconds earlier. “We didn’t hear anything about her since yesterday.”

Rin and Hanayo just nodded. “She just assisted the first period and went home after her Mother called her. By the look on her face, it must have been something important.”

After hearing that, Eli started looking down. “I don’t know if it’s the right time to say it, but…” She paused an instant as everyone’s attention was gathered at her. “Honoka’s files were withdrawn from the list of student at Otonokizaka. As for Maki’s, I don’t know the details, but the chairwoman asked me personally to bring her files and education certificates to her office. All I knew was that an old friend of her arrived at her office and asked for Maki’s folder.”

The others looked down. “In Honoka-chan’s case, it’s only normal…” Nozomi stated. “But why did Maki take her files? Is she planning on transferring school or…?”

“I don’t know…”

“But how about µ’s?” Hanayo silently stated.

The seven of us went silent after that question. We all knew that µ’s was the nine (09) of us and it wasn’t µ’s anymore if even one member was missing.

First of, I got a terminal illness. No matter how much determination and dream I had, my illness was a serious one; one that reduces my physical abilities by 90%. What could I do with only 10% of the strength I once had… and it’s only the beginning. The doctors said that my health will only worsen in the upcoming month.

Following that, we had Kotori not going to school. That was a première since she rarely missed school. We dedicated that something was wrong somewhere. Of course, I knew what made her this depressed, but I wasn’t going to tell the µ’s about my failed confession. I really wasn’t in the mood.

And lastly, Maki took her files away. There are high chances that she would transfer or such.

[-x-x-x-]

At 10:30AM, it was finally time to go. Mom entered the room with a pursue in hand. She was well-dressed – at least compared to me who was just wearing the usual blue sky pajama from the hospital. Everyone waved all trying to be strong and gave me a smile.

Mom walked me to the hospital where we were greed by many nurse. They gave me the choice between some few pajamas. They said something like; “These will be your new uniforms.”, so I took two blue and one pink. Well, there wasn’t really that big choice since most of them had the same design, but I didn’t let it bother my mind.

After placing the pajama I picked on a basket, they gave me a white wristband in witch my name, blood type and the code of the hospital was written in. “This will be your new ID now. Take good care of it and never remove that wristband at any circumstance!”

I just nodded as I took one last glance at the accessory. _“Kousaka Honoka…”_ I let go of another sigh.

I waved goodbye to Mom – who was on verge of tears – and followed one of the nurse toward the elevator. She pressed the higher level.

"Stage seven!?" I pointed out. It was more a question than an exclamation.

She nodded in response. "It's actually a peaceful place you could stay in."

As the elevator's door opened, the first thing I realized was very high ceiling. The windows were just open of few centimeters – maybe fifteen (15) or less.

Everything was colored white and seeing such calm, yet desolating place worsened my mood even more. _“It looks like I will be living on this boring place for certain among of time.”_

The nurse started leading toward the hallway until we arrived in front of a big white door. She pushed it open to reveal my new room. It was an individual one, and more depressing than I thought. It was very large, but empty. The only things in the room were a bed at the center of the room, a bedside table, a pliable chair placed at the edge of the room and a closed at the side.

After placing the changes of clothes – pajama – in the closet, the nurse bowed as I sat at the side of the bed before walking away. I was easily bored and opted to have a little walk around.

My pace of walking was weak and slow. My steps were quarter of the distance they used to be. That was when I really realized how much my strength was gone just by doing some meters.

After a couple of minute, I arrived at the living room. It was as empty as everything on this floor. The only things decorating that large room were a big TV, a couch, few pliable chairs and two small tables.

I took one of the pliable chairs and sat near the window. I let go of a sigh as I watched the blue and white sky outside. It was already winter, but the inside of the building had air conditioner, so…

My train of thought was suddenly interrupted at the sign someone entered the room. The seemingly young girl who had loosened waist-length brown hair just walked in my direction and sat on the chair beside of the one I was sitting at. She wore a pink pajama and her white wristband was a proof that she was a resident of the seven as well.

Looking at her made me realized how much I was staring to be careless these past hours. I didn’t put my hair in the usual side-tail, let alone brush it. My hair was in a mess, just like my mind while my skin was getting a lot paler than it used to be.

Talking about witch, the brunette’s skin was a lot paler than mine. I could have assumed that she was my senior-in-illness.

"So, at which are you?" The tone of her voice was void of any emotion. She didn't even take a look at me. She just stared blankly at the window.

"W-what?" I was surprised. I didn’t know what she was referring to.

"So, it's your first time..."

“First time?” I fully turned to my attention at her as the petite girl let go of a sigh.

“So, no one has told you anything yet?” Her voice was still filled with emptiness. “The seven is the hospice.” She started to explain after seeing that my full attention was at her words. “No one exits the seventh alive. Being sent here means you have less than six months left.” She took a small pause, her face still as stoic as it was before. “No one stays permanently at the seventh though. You will be occasionally sent back home when you wish, but will be readmitted here at the first sigh of a possible health degradation.”

I just nodded as I turned back into watching the sky. _“So, that’s how the seventh works…”_

"There is never a fourth..."

That time, I didn’t turn in her direction. It was as if some strange force glued my eyes to the window as. My vision however was far away. Even as I stared at that space, it was as if I wasn’t looking at anything. It was really complex, but somehow, it didn’t bother me at the least.

"...at your third trip to house, you can choose whenever you want to die at home or here at the seventh..." The petite girl continued without waiting for an answer. "I'm actually at my second... next time, I will have to choose where I want to die…"

We both let go of a silent sigh and I finally turned my attention back to her.

“I will only tell it once, so listen well…” She took another deep breath. **_“There is never a fourth time, if you want to flee, go the station B and not the A. If you don't want to burden your family, don't eat, don't drink; it will be quicker this way."_** It sounded like she was annoyed by telling that but just forced herself to pass the message.

They said lot of thing in the hospital… something like a secret law of the patient of the seventh. I never expected that I would be given the chance to be part of it as well.

"Be sure to repeat these words on your turn one day too."

That was the last sentence she said before standing up and walked toward the exit. I watched her and couldn’t help but to read what was written on her wristband. "Thank you, Sakura-san!” I did my best to smile at smile.

"You can just me Setsumi.” She replied with her usual emotionless voice before walking out of the room.

I turned back toward the window after the petite girl – also known as Sakura Setsumi – left the living room. I just watched as few flakes of snow started falling outside. _“The seventh…?”_

[-x-x-x-]

**Sakura Setsumi is a character from the visual novel (video game) Narcissu and the protagonist of its prequel: Narcissus Side 2 nd.**


	2. New life, new love

As I woke up in the morning, the first thing I saw was an unusual white ceiling. I realized then all these events were real.

I’ve prayed so much the day before. I wished this was just a nightmare and I would just wake up the next day in my room and go back to school and meet my friends… and Kotori…

_“Kotori-chan…”_ the though of her made me stop for a while as a single tear ran on my cheek.

I quickly whipped the tear as soon as I heard footsteps coming toward my room and then some knocking from the door. “Kousaka-san, may I enter?” The person at the other side of the door asked with a gentle tone.

“Yes! Go ahead!” I quickly fixated myself – even though there weren’t that many things to fix.

The nurse from the day before pushed the door open. She was in her usual suit – composed of a light pink tight blouse with a white skirt and a white beret. I just followed her movements as she placed a notebook on the bedside table.

“Good morning, Kousaka-san! How are you today?” She asked with a warm smile.

“I’m ok…” I wasn’t sure of how to reply. I couldn’t say that I was fine because it wasn’t the case at all. But I wasn’t that bad either though, especially compared to what was going to happen to me in few weeks.

“That’s good! Shall we take your temperature, then?” She proposed, taking a thermometer from her pocket. I just nodded and put the small tool into my mouth.

As we waited for the result, I took a small glance around the room, while still sitting on the white bed. I could see how empty the room was. Maybe it was because the patients living there only stayed few months, plus, they were dying people, so there was no need for that many things.

**_“The patient of the seven has individual room, no bedtime limit and no alimentation restriction.”_** That was what an older woman – possibly a patient of the seventh – explained to me the day before while I had a walk around.

In other word, they are allowed of near everything. Unfortunately, the only thing they can’t get is “life”. Every patient admitted at the seven is already doomed… waiting for death…

I was brought back in reality by a little beep. It was the thermometer. The nurse took it from my month and read it. “36.6°C… It’s ok!”

My temperature was below the normal, but the doctors explained us. Apparently, our temperature would lessen until it would be around 35°C and death would be assured.

The young woman gave me another warm smile. She fixated her uniform and bowed slightly before walking out of the room. Just as she was about to turn the knob of the door though, she turn one last time. “By the way, your helper has been settled.”

“Helper? What’s that?” I curiously asked.

“You’ll see… She will be there later.” She gave me another smile before walking away.

I was left alone in the big room again, slightly confused about that ‘helper’ thing. I just watched at the ceiling for a couple of minutes, thinking about what my family might actually be doing. _“Yukiho might be at school right now while Mom and Father are working at the shop…”_

After letting go of another sigh, I finally decided to stand up from the bed. “I thing I should have a little walk around.”

As soon as my feet entered in contact with the ground, I could feel my body shaking. My energy was low and my legs weaker than how they used to be. I breathed heavily as my lungs tightened in my chest. I just gripped the side of the bed for a support as to not fall. It took about ten or fifteen (10 or 15) minutes to stabilize myself.

After being sure that my legs won’t give in, I slowly and hesitantly let go of the bed I was griping to before walking in the room. As I walked near the 15 cm-opened windows, I could feel the gentle wind stroking my messy loosened hair.

As I took a peek at the world outside, I could see childrens playing at the nearby park, busy people walking from a spot to another and students meeting with their friends and going to school. I could feel something piercing my heart from watching such scenery. It was not that I was jealous, but I just envied them…

I was once again brought back into reality by a gentle knock from the door.

“You can come in!” I answered in response as I turned to the source.

Not long after that, a young woman pushed the door so she could be in my field of vision came in. My eyes widened in shock as I could identify the girl in front of me. I rubbed my eyes, but she was still there. It was not an illusion.

“Good morning, Honoka!” She awkwardly tried to smile. I came back into my senses and returned her greetings.

“Good morning, Maki-chan!” I gave her a smile. “But what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at school now?” I was curious.

“The truth is…” She paused, biting her lip. “…I stopped going to public school. Now I take lesson at home.”

I was taken by surprise by that announcement. I knew she came from a well-shaped family but I would have never though she would actually stop school and start home-studying. “But why?” I asked curious.

“The truth is… you know… My family actually owns a branch on this hospital and I requested to do a stage here… but they said it’s a full-time job, so… I only take class at night and sooner in the morning…” She shyly explained while twirling with her hair.

I knew that she wasn’t telling me everything, but I was too happy to meet someone I know there to ask further questions. I just smiled at her.

“A-anyway,” she continued, “…starting today, I will be your helper.”

“Ah, so it’s you? You’re my helper?” I was surprised, but then confused by something… “What is a helper, by the way?”

Maki looked at me for with a surprised face while I started rubbing the back of my head while shucking my tongue out like a child. She just smiled and let go of some giggles. “A helper is like a nurse, but they only have to take care of a patient. We helpers have to stay by our patient’s side and be there when they need help. You are free to consider us as your best friend and we will be glad to listen to anything you have to say, be it a confession or…” Her cheeks slightly turned pink and she coughed awkwardly before resuming her speech. “A-Anyway, is there anything you want to do now?” She asked, trying to avoid her last sentence. “Did you already eat?”

“No! Not yet” I answered. But to be honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to eat. I only took one bite from the diner the night before. They made some great yakisoba bread, but I wasn’t really in the mood…

…To think that Kousaka Honoka lost her appetite for bread… That was so depressing to hear. **_“…Don’t eat, don’t drink, it will be quicker and you won’t be a heavy charge for your family…”_** These words echoed into my head.

“H-Honoka?” I lifted my head to see the concerned look on Maki’s face.

“I-I’m ok!” I tried to smile.

“O-ok then…” She answered, seemingly not really sure about something. “Should we go to the cafeteria, then?”

I just nodded in response. With that, she led the way after grabbing my hand. That somehow surprised me because I knew that the red-head wasn’t a big fan of physical contact, less initiating one, but I quickly snapped these thoughts away.

_“What should I do now?”_ I didn’t know what to do now. I just followed my former junior into the hallway while my thoughts were elsewhere. _“Should I follow the advice or…”_

As we were about to enter the elevator, a young boy with brown hair walked out from it alongside another nurse. That boy wore a white pajama and a white wristband as well

_“Atou Yuu…”_ That was the name written on his wristband.

“Another young one… It’s so sad…” I could hear two nurses gossiping at about four meters from us looking at both that boy and me. “The number of teenagers transferred here are more and more important each year…”

It’s not like they had any bad intention, but I fell sad by that… though I didn’t know why.

“Honoka?” Maki called for me as we entered the elevator and she pressed the button for the first floor.

[-x-x-x-]

We walked into the crowded cafeteria. I watched the clock and saw it was almost nine of the morning (09:00AM).

As Maki was trying to find us a place, I watched the other patients. I could see a group of young person wearing pajama and a blue wristband sitting together at a table.

The doctors explained to the day before that a patient’s health is determined by its wristband’s color. Blue is for the patients who just regularly come to the hospital for daily tests. Yellow is for the patients from the third to fifth floor. Green is for the patients of the sixth floor who are waiting for an operation; if it success, they are sent back home; if not, their bracelet is replaced with white one. Lastly, White is for these who are already doomed at the seventh – the hospice.

“Honoka!” I was brought back into the reality by Maki’s calling

 “Y-Yes!” I awkwardly answered.

“I found a seat! Let’s go!” She grabbed my hand once again gently before we went toward a table for two at a corner of the room.

I sat on one of the chair as she sat across, and we both took the menu.

“You can choose everything you like, ok!” she reassured. I just nodded as an answer.

I just opted for a sandwich as she just picked a tomato juice. I watched her in confusion, but she just smiled at me once again.

“Oh, I already ate, so don’t worry about me.”

Five minute later, a waitress brought our commands.

“Itadakimasu!” I said and dug into the sandwich. Sadly, this one didn’t taste delicious… I don’t know why… it was supposed though… my month feels so bitter.

“H-Honoka? What’s wrong?” Maki asked with a caring expression as she stated I took a moment before eating again. “Does it taste bad?”

“No… It’s nothing… I was just thinking of something…” I answered trying to avoid the question.

As I lifted my head once again, I realized Maki has already finished her drink. She wore a cute orange dress and wore a white beret. That outfit looked like a nurse’s, but in a more childish way. I found it really cute on her that I couldn’t help a small smile to form on my lips.

I quickly finished my sandwich and we exited the cafeteria.

“So, where do you want to go?” My red-haired friend asked as we arrived at the first floor’s hallways.

“I don’t know… outside… Maybe…” I answered not sure of what I just said.

“It’s settled, then! Let’s go to the garden!” She proposed, giving her heartwarming smile. Maki led the way toward a huge glass door at the other end of the hallway.

 “You sure do know a lot about this place…” I stated out.

“N-Not really… It’s just I spent many time here, so…” She was blushing while trying to avoid eye contact. I just clung to her left arm only to earn a cute yelp from her, but oddly enough, she didn’t complain nor push me. That made me so happy.

After getting out of the building, we arrived at the rear garden. It was composed of some pineapple tree surrounding the hospital, few grasses on some spot, some pretty white flower and a big tree in the center of all that landscape.

“Honoka?” Maki asked while walking toward at that garden. “What do you think?”

I just smiled and followed her. “It’s beautiful! Let’s enjoy our day!”

[-x-x-x-]

**A/N: Atou Yuu is the protagonist of the game Narcissu (1 st). As foe the nurse at the beginning, she an OC that somehow or somehow not might belongs to us.**


	3. Cold as ever

_“I’m so bored!”_ I complained while watching the snow falling through the room’s window. I turned to the clock; it was almost midnight but couldn’t sleep.

I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to calm my mind. I stayed like this for half an hour, but couldn’t sleep.

“Why? Why can’t I get that out of my mind?” I silently muttered to myself.

The reason I couldn’t sleep was because of what happened earlier that day. No matter what I did, it would always pop up back in my mind.

After a while, I decided to stand from the bed once again and leaned closer to the window. The seventh was always a calm and silent place, and the patient doesn’t have bed time restriction… But tonight, I was unusually dark and silent.

I sighed and walked toward the living room. As I entered in, I recognized the boy who just transferred this morning. He was sitting on a pliable chair, watching the window. Next to him, Setsumi was sitting on a pliable chair as well.

It looked like they are talking about their families and some other dramatic issues. I didn’t want to interrupt them, so I turned back. But as I was about to leave, the boy spotted me.

“Ah, you can’t sleep too?” He asked me “By the way, I just transferred here… My name is Atou Yuu.” His voice was calm for now. I guess it’s his way of greeting.

I then decided to walk into the big room and greed them back with a forced smile. “Nice to meet you, Atou-kun! I’m Kousaka Honoka; but you can call me Honoka! I just transferred here as well…” I took a seat by Setsumi’s left so that the petite girl was at the middle.

The room was now filled with silence as we three were watching the white and dark scenery of the outside world through that window.

“So,” Setsumi was the first to break the silence “…have you decided?”

“Decided what?” I asked, having no idea of what to answer.

“Have you decided on where do you plan to die?” Her voice was stoic but soft. That was the first time I could hear someone talk so easily about death.

That caught me out of guard, so I just asked her the question back. “I don’t know yet… How about you?”

She didn’t say anything. I though she doesn’t know either.

“And you?” I didn’t even bother turning to the boy because I was sure that he knew I was asking about his choice.

“Me?” I guess he was taken by surprise too. He took a little pause. “…I don’t want to die at home for sure… but I don’t want to die here as well…”

_“So, he wants a third choice… I kind of get how he felt.”_

After a while, the tiny girl stood up, bowed slightly at us and left the room with no more words. The boy left as well not long after that. I was left alone again.

After taking another glance at the clock, I let go of another sigh. “Two in the morning… I couldn’t get any sleep.”

I turned back to the window once again and watched the flakes of snow slowly falling from the outside dark sky. It was rather cold that night, but I didn’t really mind it. To be honest, I didn’t care. All that was in my head was what happened earlier.

**\- Flashback -**

At the hospital’s rear garden, I was sitting on a bench, alone. A nurse called for Maki few minutes earlier, so she had to leave for half an hour. The sun was high in the sky and the temperature was rather high since there was no sign of any cloud.

It was rather hot in addition to the fact that I was still in pajama. One thing was sure; pajama are made for cold weathers and aren’t that comfortable in summer or sunny day. I could feel sweats forming in my forehead and other place in my body.

After deciding it wasn’t that wise to just sit on an exposed bench, I stood up and went for a small walk but then stopped after about ten meters. I was already panting, exhausted by that little walk.

 _“I am so pathetic!”_ I whispery cursed myself for such weakness.

As I now watched around me, I spotted a perfect spot for resting. I saw a small zone with green grass surrounding a big tree. I slowly walked toward that direction. Once there, I rested my back on the tree and watched the garden from that spot, at the shadow of the big tree.

The garden was little than I though seen by that spot. I closed my eyes as I sat on the grass. The wind was gently whispering and the sunlight was gently warm. It was the perfect place to relax.

I opened my eyes once again as I felt something vibrating from my pocket. I picked whatever was there and saw the phone’s screen showing that I got three unread messages. I let go of a sigh before reading the messages.

Normally, the usage of cell phone was prohibited for patients, but that law didn’t apply to us from the seventh. We were free to bring phones, laptop, and even game console. The only limit was that we were not allowed to bother the other patients while using these.

**_[From: Kousaka Yukiho_ **

**_Hey Onee-chan! How is it there? I wanted to get there this morning before classes, but Mom didn’t allow me. What a pain! I just wanted to pay a little visit. A-anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we are all fine.]_ **

I couldn’t help a giggle to escape from my lips. “Yukiho… You’re always such Tsundere.” I decided to reply to her message.

**_[Re: Hey Yukiho; I am fine. You know what? Maki-chan is my helper. I was really surprised to hear that she started home-studying.]_ **

After receiving the delivery report, as I was about to read the other messages, I couldn’t help but to let go of a sigh as I saw the time and the date. _“11:00AM; December 23 rd…”_

I somehow felt sad for some weird reasons. I just decided to lie on the grass and closed my eyes again as to relax my mind.

When I woke up and opened my eyes, the thirst thing I saw was Maki. My head was resting on her lap as she was reading a book. Her face brightened as she saw me opening my eyes.

“Ah, Honoka! Did you sleep well?” She gave me a bright smile. I just smiled back as a response.

After taking a glance around, I realized that it was already late. The sun was down, ready to settle anytime soon with a beautiful wedding of red and orange color.

“Oh, I overslept?” I just asked in surprise.

She just smiled back as I stood from her lap. We were now standing close to each other, watching that sun. After the huge orb of ‘Hydrogen and Helium’ disappeared behind the far horizons, we finally decided to go back inside the building.

After taking the elevator directly at the seventh, we walked toward the room with me clinging to her left arm as usual since she said she didn’t mind. I was really glad to hear that since I had near zero confidence about my walking abilities.

As we arrived at the room, I directly walked toward the bed and attempted to get on it, but failed. I tried to climb, but lost my balance and fell on the floor instead.

I could hear Maki trying to hold her laugher as I was fooling around, trying to get into the bed. Even though I was slightly embarrassed to show such childish and weak face of mine, it made me so happy to see her smile, so I just smiled back.

“Shall I help you out?” She proposed. That was something I couldn’t refuse. She helped me getting in the bed and then placed the pliable chair beside so she could sit there. “Do you… Do you want to play something?” She shyly asked. Her expression was so funny, I couldn’t say no.

“Ok! Rock-Paper-Scissor truth or dare!” I proposed. “We do Rock-Paper-Scissor and the looser has to reply to one question or to do an act for the winner.”

Maki blushed at the proposition but decided to nod her head.

“Now then, let’s go!” On the first round, I use rock as she put scissor. I won! “Now then, truth or dare?” I playfully ask.

“D-dare, I guess…”

“Then, bring me a glass of water!”

She did as I told and we continued. On the next round, I lost against a paper.

“I choose truth!”

“Then, tell me…” She slightly fidgeted with the hem of her dress’s skirt. “Have you already kissed anyone?” It was hard to not see the deep red blush on her face. “I-it’s not as if I really want to know personally. That question just randomly…” I just smiled at her cute Tsundere act.

“Of course! I’ve already kissed Mom and Yukiho on the cheek and the forehead!” I energetically answered.

“I-I mean, on the lips…” She corrected her question, now her face as red as a tomato.

“On the lips… No… I suppose…” I placed a finger on my chin and thought. “No! I am sure! I have never kissed anyone before.”

We the got another round and I lost again.

“This time, I go with dare!”

“T-Then, ki-kiss me…” She proposed.

I could feel the blood from my whole body gathering at my face. As I was trying to catch on the actual situation, the red-head was fidgeting even more with the hem of her dress, avoiding direct eye contact.

“I-I guess I have no choice.” I answered as I put another big smile.

Maki just watched with confusion, but soon relaxed. She decided to drop the Tsundere façade for this once.

I leaned closer until our faces were only few centimeters away from each other. Sure, I liked Maki, so I didn’t mind giving her my first kiss, but something was telling me deep inside to thing some more. At the end, I decided to ignore that little voice and sealed our lips together.

My mind got blank at that moment as our lips clashed few times. We parted after few seconds that felt like eternity for me. We were now voiceless, while just staring at each other, a pair of baby blue orb meeting with a pair of amethyst ones.

As I was regaining my mind, I saw a figure standing close to the door. I lifted my head to have a better view of the person.

“Kotori-chan?” My blood became suddenly cold at the thought of meeting her in such place at such time – after making her witness what happened earlier. She was silently standing close to the door, clad in a green one-piece dress, with a bouquet of flower in hand, eyes wet from few tears.

Before anyone could do anything, the ash-haired girl rushed back outside, dropping the bouquet of white lily on the floor. I turned toward Maki. She was looking down, her hands trying to hide her face. She was sobbing just like Kotori earlier. Seeing all that brought tears to my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Honoka…” Maki apologized as I looked back at her. “…I know you like Kotori… I’m sorry I asked you-”

“It’s nothing!” I cut her statement as I forced another smile.

She let herself fell onto my chest as we cried for some minutes. I gently stroke her hair while making circles on her back as to comfort her. To be hones, I felt like I was the one being comforted as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

After Maki calmed down, we let go of each other before she bowed at me and walked out of the room, seeing it was rather late. I couldn’t thing straight after that as my thoughts would always turn back to these events.

**\- End of the Flashback -**

I sighed to myself looking at that window. “Why am I so stupid?” I touched my lips. “Hers were so soft…” By ‘her’, I meant Maki.

True I was in love with Kotori, but I feel something for Maki as well. I only realized it earlier that day, but I felt something warm within my chest every time I saw her smile. She has been doing so many things for me. Maybe… just maybe… I fell in love with my former junior.

With that, I went back into my room and fell back on the bed. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep once again. _“What should I do now?”_ I let go of another sigh before falling asleep.


	4. Joy and Sorrow

I opened my eyes. It was already morning. White ceiling was the first thing I saw.

“Another day…” I weakly muttered to myself. I watch the clock and it revealed 08:00 at December 24. I let go of a heavy sigh.

It was mostly holiday, but I wasn’t in the mood, not after what happened the day before. The events from few hours earlier flashed in my mind. I quickly slapped these thoughts away as I stood up from the bed went toward the living room.

Once there, I sat on a pliable chair and watched through the window. _“Kotori-chan… Maki-chan…”_

I was so confused. Sure, I do loved Kotori more than as a friend… But I had feeling for Maki too.

“What’s going on in my head?” I touched my lips and remembered how warm Maki’s lips were.

I was brought back into reality by someone walking into the living room.

“Ah, good morning!” It was Yuu. I just greeted him back as he sat on the sofa and turned the TV on.

“Say, Atou-san…” I turned to him. “M-May I ask you some advice?”

I was pathetic. Asking someone I just met about my romantic problems… But I didn’t know where to turn anymore, so I asked his opinion.

His attention was fully turned to me. I gathered my courage, and then narrated him what happened; from the day I confessed to Kotori, until yesterday when I kissed Maki.

“Wow… I don’t know what to say…” He just said in surprise. “I don’t really know that much about love, but I will try to advice you as I could.”

I just nodded in agreement and listened to what he has to say.

“First of all, both of your crushes are girls, right? It’s not that I judge you, don’t worry; I just want to be sure.” He asked first.

“Yeah, both of them are. Do you think I am a weirdo?” I answered.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that I don’t have any experience when it comes to love…” He just placed his hands on his lap. “A-Anyway, here is my advice: You like both but deep somewhere, you don’t want to hurt any of them. I think you just need to think to yourself about this first; then, you could try to spend some time with them separately, and there you should be able to choose whose you want to spend your remaining time.” That was his opinion.

I rubbed my chin with one finger and thought about it.

“OK… I will try, thank you.” I gave a friendly smile and waved goodbye before going back into my room.

As I entered the room, it was still 08:30. I still had half an hour until Maki come. I sat on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes. As I did so, images of Maki and Kotori appeared in my mind. I tried to compare them. I tried to find out the reason I liked them.

 _“Why I like Kotori? Why I like Maki?”_ These were my targets.

I remembered my childhood, by Kotori’s side. She was always supportive and kind and she would always be there for me. Her way of acting, her way of dressing, her way of speaking… These were the fact I loved her.

As for Maki, she tries to act cold and distant; but deep inside, she is a very kind person. She helped us a large among of time: she composed our first song and more… I will never forget that kindness. When I was affected here; she arranged everything, so she could support me.

“Maki-chan…” I muttered her name. Even if she denies the reason she decided to get affected here, I knew that she was hiding something. She affirmed she stopped school because it was boring, but the other nurses told me otherwise.

**\- Flashback -**

As the two of us exited the elevator after that ‘little nap’ at the garden, a doctor called for Maki. We went onto the office where a blonde-haired woman was standing. “Good evening, Nishikino-san. Here are the last papers you have to complete to be fully recognized as a helper.” The young woman gave her some paper.

“Thank you! I will finish these right away!” Maki took the papers and turned to me. “Sorry Honoka; but could you please go ahead? I need to fill these papers.”

I just smiled as an agreement as she walked back into the elevator. I turned back to the other side and was about to resume the walk, but the doctor walked in my direction. “By the way, you’re Kousaka-san, right?”

“Yes!” I was unsure of how to reply. Her pair of blue orb examined me. She was somehow intimidating, but cute on another point of view. Other than that, she was well-endowed and her suit – composed of a dark skirt, high-heel and white coat – was fitting her perfectly.

“Can I have a talk with you?” She asked, the tone of her voice was a gentle one, so I somehow relaxed.

“Y-yes!”

She led the way to the living room. She took a pliable chair as I sat on the couch across her, the small table in between us.

“So, m-may I ask what you want to talk to me?” I was somehow nervous to talk to such gorgeous woman. I bet any girl would fall for her charm.

“It’s about Nishikino-san… Do you know the reason why did she insist on going into this hospital?”

“No… I don’t have any clue…” Now, I was curious. “Do you know?”

“It’s just a rumor, but apparently she abused the authority of her parents to stop studying at high school and insisted of becoming a helper for a certain patient here at the seventh; in other word, _you_. It is weird, right? She is the daughter of the great doctor Nishikino, yet she wanted to be affected here by all mean…” She pointed out while resting her hands on the table. “It’s not that I have anything against it, but some doctors wondered what the reason behind all that was. Do you by any chance have any special connection with Nishikino-san?”

“N-no… not as I could remember…” I looked down. “We were just fellow school idols with me as a senior and her as a junior.”

“Anyway, may I advice you something?” I nodded and she continued. “Do not let what the others’ opinions affect you. Some might say rude thing or hate comment about your relation with Nishikino-san, but do not pay any attention to them. Just do what you want!”

I lifted my head to see a bright smile on her face. I couldn’t help but to smile back at her, a little unsure of what she meant.

She then excused herself and stood up from the chair. As she was about to leave, I slowly grabbed the sleeve of her coat. “Say; Onee-chan… May I ask for your name?” I couldn’t help but to ask that. I suddenly realized how I called her and was about to apologize, but she just smiled.

“Yuuna! Matsubara Yuuna! But you can call me Onee-chan if you’d like to!” As I let go of her coat, she started walking toward the exit, but turned one last time. “Have a nice day, Honoka-chan!”

We smiled at each other one last time and she exited the room. Not long after that, Maki arrived and we went toward the bedroom.

_“Matsubara Yuuna? She looks like a good person…”_

**\- End of the Flashback -**

I opened my eyes. I realized the truth. Maki decided to go to this hospital because she loved me and wanted to stay by my side. I smile at that thought.

“I’m decided!” I shouted out loud.

“I’m glad for you, then.” A gentle voice commented.

I turned around and saw Maki near the door, smiling, amused as I could see. She was smiling, smiling with that loveable expression…

I just smiled back and her before standing up and ran into her direction. I jumped and hugged her with all my strength – whose were small.

“W-Wha…” She fought back, but soon gave up and hugged me back.

We stayed in that gentle embrace for a couple of minute.

“Say, Maki-chan…” I was the first to break the silence. I buried my face in her soft chest right after that. “…Please be honest, why did you decided to become a helper here?” I asked her without letting go of her.

She paused for a while, and then answered with a gentle voice. “The truth is that I find school boring because you aren’t there with me… The idea of quitting public school already raced in my mind. The only reason I still stayed was because I wanted to spend more time with my new friends, spend time with you…”

I could feel my cheeks warming up as she continued.

“You were kind to me and you always did your best and kept smiling whenether happen… Other than that, you didn’t let my family title influence any of you. I didn’t have that many friends before because they would always act all strange while knowing that I was the heiress of the Nishikino.” She continued, her voice now shaking. “Honoka… The truth is that I love you!”

I felt tears forming in my eyes while her sobs reached my ears. That time, she was the one who tightened the embrace so I wouldn’t be able to see her tears.

“I’ve always liked you since I joined Muse. I always wanted to express my feeling for you, but I was scared… I was so scared you might think I am a weird person. That was why I always buried these feeling deep inside…” She continued while sobbing. “…But then one day, I heard that you had someone you liked. I felt hurt, but I didn’t want to burden you, so I gave up on my feelings…” She paused few seconds. “But after you were sent here, I wanted to be by your side… I wanted to be the one comforting you… And even though I put all my strength in, and even if I say to myself these feelings are unreasonable, I could never stop from loving you…That’s why I did these…”

I could feel more tear coming from my eyes after that beautiful speech. Both of us remained silent for a couple of minute.

“You know, Maki-chan…” I was the one who broke the silent “I’ve been thinking about everything a while ago… And I realized that our feeling is reciprocal.”

She was surprised by my answer as she weakened her grip and I took the opportunity to lift my head as to be face-to-face with her.

“…R-Really?” She weakly asked.

“Yes.” I answered while giving a smile.

“…But, what about Kotori?” She weakly asked.

I looked down for a couple of second, then lifted my head and gave her my best smile. “…I sure liked her… I still like her…” I answered. Her expression switched into a sad one.

“…But I love you more… I love you, Maki-chan… You helped me so much… I am so grateful of your kindness…” I gave her a smile as her expression alternated between surprised to happy. “…That’s why, I would like to request you something…” I then took a deep breath. “Maki-chan, I love you! Please go out with me!”

We both blushed the minute after. She didn’t say anything, she just smiled. I guess it was a yes.

“…Oh, Maki-chan, I’m so happy!” I jumped into her arm again and kissed her once again on the lips. We parted after some second that seemed like years and smiled at each other. “…Let’s get along well, my dear lover!”

She nodded in agreement and leaned closer to give me another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matsubara Yuuna is a character from the visual novel (game) Sono Hanabira ni Kuchizuke wo – A Kiss for the Petal (a Yuri R-18 game by the way… please refrain yourself from playing it if you are underage). Yuuna x Nanami is my favorite couple of the SH series by the way.


	5. My first, my last

24th December… better known as Christmas Eve… on that day, I finally realized something… something that will change my remaining life…

The day passed like a flash when I was by Maki’s side. We ate at the cafeteria, did some walks at the garden and ate ice.

At 06:00PM…

“Sorry, but I have to go home earlier today” Maki announced.

“Yeah, I got it! It’s Christmas Eve after all! I’m sure your parents are waiting… Please wish them a merry Christmas from me!” I just answered with a smile.

I then decided to walk her to the elevator. As we arrived in front of the nurse’s office, she stopped and then faced me.

“H-Honoka…” She began. “…I’m sorry for leaving you alone at that time… It’s just…”

“It’s OK! Don’t worry about it! I’m sure we’ll have more time to spend together!” I said trying to cheer her up, but deep inside, I wanted her to stay… stay by my side… Then, I looked down for a couple of seconds. I lifted my head after a little moment of silence and gave my lover the best smile I could offer.

“Then…” Maki awkwardly said and leaned closer. I did the same and our lips met and we stayed in a warm embrace for about ten seconds.

After we parted, she headed into the elevator as its door was closing. She gave me another warm smile as the elevator’s door was fully closed.

I sighed and the watched the ceiling. _“Maki-chan…”_ I muttered and then started giggling at that statement.

“I’m happy for you, Honoka-chan!” Suddenly, a gentle voice coming from behind brought me back into reality. I turned and smiled at the newcomer. “G-Good evening, Yuuna-Onee-chan!” I bowed at her.

The blonde smiled at me and let go of some giggles. “I’m happy you found the answer.”

“…T-Thank you! I realized it now, thanks to you!” I bowed again at her.

“Come on, you don’t need to thank me for that.” She gave me a gentle smile, bowed and went toward the main hall.

[-x-x-x-]

Back in my room, I went closer to the window and watched the falling snow. On the streets, childrens like teenagers were running there and there. I couldn’t help but to giggle while looking at that scenery.

After a while, I turned my attention toward a bag on the bed. I opened the armory and picked some pajama from it and tidied them into the bag.

_“Tomorrow, I will be temporary send back home. They said I can go, but will be reaffixed if my health worsens.”_

I took a seat at the bed’s side and let go of a sigh.

“Mom, Yukiho, Father… I’m coming…” I silently muttered to myself, and then went back into arranging my stuffs.

I managed to finish the tiding task after half an hour. After I did it, I let myself fall into the bed. “I’m already so tired!” I silently complained as I could realize I was weakened again. “Bah, let’s go to sleep for now!”

That night, my dream was the weirdest one I ever had during my whole life.

[-x-x-x-]

In my dream, I was still a child. I walked down the stair of a huge house I didn’t recognize. I walked into a big room with big windows and in the middle were a sofa facing a big TV, two figures were sitting on the sofa. As I went closer to inspect, one of the two women stood up and walked in my direction. My eyes widened as I recognized that person.

“Ah, so you’re awake, Honoka-chan!” That person looks like Maki in an adult version.

“Y-Yeah…” I weakly answered, then realized my voice was child-like.

“Should we have breakfast, then?” The Maki-like woman proposed.

“That’s exact! Let’s do so!” The other woman stood from the sofa and walked into our direction. Once again, my eyes widened.

 _“Is this a dream?”_ I was starting to wonder. _“Thought it feel so real…”_

“Honoka-chan, are you alright?” The woman that looked like an adult version of Kotori was watching at me with concern in her eyes. “You can tell Mommy everything is something is wrong! Is it about Nico-chan and Rin-chan? I could talk to Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan if Nico-chan was mean to you again.”

“N-no… t-there’s nothing wrong!” She answered hesitantly. _“Nico-chan…? Mean…? Nozomi-chan…? Eli-chan…? What’s going on here? I am totally confused.”_

“H-Honoka-chan?” I lifted my head and saw the Kotori-like adult looking at me with caring eyes.

“I-I’m OK, Mama…” I decided to play the game for now.

“Should we go, then…? Maki is waiting for us.” She then proposed.

_“It must be a dream… I’m sure it is… I guess I will just play along…”_

We entered another huge room that seemed like a dining room. Kotori walked in and I followed her. I almost screamed in surprise as we passed by a mirror.

“Wha… Wha…” I didn’t have words to describe it, but my body looked like when I was still ten years young, but my hair was slightly redder than how it used to be.

“What’s wrong, Honoka-chan?” Kotori asked as she inspected my face to see if there was something wrong.

“I-I’s nothing, Mama!” I just answered as I was surprised my appearance didn’t surprise them. _“Now I’m sure it’s a dream!”_

We then took sat on the huge table. Maki turned to me. “So, Honoka-chan… How are your friends doing?” She then asked. “Knowing Nozomi, I bet she taught Nico-chan, Rin-chan and you some tricks with cards.”

 _“Friends? Cards?”_ I asked in surprise, and then I just nodded “They’re OK!” I didn’t know what to answer.

When the breakfast was served, Kotori and Maki’s laugher filled the room as they were gossiping about something. To be honest, I was interested by their chat but weirdly, I didn’t understand most of their chat.

“By the way, I just happened to hear that Rin-chan started practicing archery. Is that true?”

“I made our favorite dishes for the breakfast, by the way; Tomato, cheesecake and bread!”

“How about we go to the movie theater this Sunday? I heard the new movie of K-on went out.”

“We should pay Hanayo-chan some visit next week by the way. We could take the opportunity to learn some new food recipe and maybe invite them for the holidays.”

I just stayed silent, eating the bread in front of me. I was surprised when I ate it. _“Weird… It have taste… But it’s a dream, right… so, I shouldn’t be able to feel anything…”_

After I finished the breakfast, Kotori gave me a cute small red backpack. “Honoka-chan, you should hurry or you’ll be late for school.”

I then quickly grabbed the bag and was about to leave when Maki stopped me. “Honoka-chan, you sure, you didn’t forget anything?” I had no idea of what she meant. Then, without more word, she leaned closer and kissed my left cheek. “Have a nice day, Honey!” With a smile, she moved to the side so I could get out.

Once outside, two girls were standing there. “Oh, Honoka-chan, let’s go!” One of the girls greeted me first. The two were slightly taller than me in the dream.

The first one had brown-ish orange hair and a pair of yellow eyes. She highly reminded me of Rin while the second one looked like Nico, but her hair had some shades of purple.

[-x-x-x-]

“Onee-chan… Onee-chan…” I slowly opened my eyes as I recognized the voice who called for me. “Onee-chan…” Yukiho’s face brightened as she saw I was awake.

“Ah, Yukiho! Good morning!” I greeted her with a smile. I stood up and picked the bag. “Where’s Mom?” I asked in curiosity as I didn’t see our mother around.

“She went toward the main office the fill some paper.” She answered before taking the bag away from me. “Should we go meet her now?”

My younger sister was wearing a dull white T-shirt with blue pants and a white coat completing her look. I felt dull compared to her, especially when I was just wearing a pink pajama, my hair in mess.

“Yeah, let’s do so!” I answered as we walked out of the room and into the hallway. We then entered the elevator and pressed the button for the 4th floor. As we exited the elevator, Mom was there with a pile of paper.

“Ah, Mom! Are you done?” Yukiho asked her.

Mom just nodded and entered the elevator as well as she pressed the button for the first floor. We then exited the building and took a taxi. After some minutes of riding, we were now at our house.

“Welcome back!” Father greeted us as we entered the house.

“We’re back!” Yukiho, Mom and I shouted in unison, and then we looked at each other and giggled.

As we stepped inside, Father proposed to bring my stuffs into my room. I nodded as he took the bag into the room I haven’t seen in a while. We then took a seat around the small table.

“Now then, let’s begin!” Yukiho started as she placed few assets on the kotatsu.

It was Sunday so no one went to work. We sat around the kitchen’s warm kotatsu, we ate, we drank, and we celebrated. I was trying my best to smile – no! I was happy to be there – but deep inside, I fell something was missing.

 _“Today, we do a party, we smile, we laugh; but or next year, I won’t be of this world anymore. Will they still move forward and smile?”_ There were haunting my mind the whole time the party lasted.

It was now at noon and we ate meal. Then, Yukiho started with a joke, followed by Father, and then they turned toward me.

“Hein?” I made a surprised face.

“It’s your turn, now Onee-chan!” Yukiho announce energetically.

I didn’t know what to do, so I just made a random joke. Fortunately, that was enough to make the three others laugh. After we finished the meal, Yukiho helped Mom cleaning up; Father went to help them as.

I was now alone in the living room. I then yawed and started to feel sleepy. “Maybe I should have a nap…” I initiated myself and lay near the kotatsu. I didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.

[-x-x-x-]

As I opened my eyes, The first thing I was a crimson-haired girl wearing an orange dress.

“Ah, Honoka! You’re awake?” She asked.

“Ah, Maki! Since when were you here?” I just asked in surprise.

“I just get in some minutes ago.” She answered.

“Ah, I see!” I contemplated her. We were in our house’s living room. My head was resting on her lap. I have to admit; I love being spoiled by Maki like this. The red-head was wearing a cute orange dress, that wasn’t a helper’s. As I watched closer, this must be an expensive dress.

“So… D-do you like it?” She then asked out of nowhere.

“What?” I asked not knowing what she meant.

“T-the dress…” She pointed at her cute outfit “S-Santa gave it to me…” she shyly continued.

“Yeah,” I nodded “It really suits you!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re really cute, Maki-chan!” I answered with a big smile.

“Honoka…”

“Maki-chan…”

“Say, Honoka… Are you interested in making a tour at the town? I prepared some snacks for the occasion…” Maki shyly asked me.

“Are you actually proposing a date?”

“Bah, If you see it like that…” She started twirling with her hair. I couldn’t help but to giggle at that scenery. “W-What’s wrong with that?” She was now in her Tsundere mode.

“No, nothing…” I teased her a little “…Let’s ask my parents, first in that case!”

She nodded and we stood up and went toward the kitchen. Mom, Father and Yukiho were still cleaning some dishes.

“Mom, is it OK if I go for a walk with Maki-chan?” I asked them.

“It’s OK! You can go on your date.” Mom gave me a smile.

“D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-date?” I was so surprised.

“Yeah! After all, you’re dating, right?” She smiled at us. “You two make a really cute couple by the way!”

“S-So, you knew?” I was more surprised.

The three of them just smiled at us and wished us a good afternoon. Well, it was more Yukiho smiling while Mom and Father gave us a pair of thumb-up!

With that, we headed toward the exit. I just kept voiceless until we exited the house.

“…So they know…” I muttered.

“I was surprised as well…” Maki replied.

“Bah, life is full of surprise…”

Once outside, Maki started leading the way. I just clung to her by grabbing her arm and moving closer to her. Maki’s face has reddened, now. I let out of a giggle.

“But you know, Maki-chan…” I started to talk again “…I was really surprised… I thought they won’t accept our relationship, but it wasn’t the case… Maybe I worried too much…”

Maki just smiled at me at that statement. Then, she suddenly stopped. “Here we are.” She announced as I saw we were at a park.

We then took seat in a nearby bench. It was still cold outside but we both wore jacket and scarf, so it was OK to stay outside. Fortunately, it wasn’t snowing that day.

Maki unpacked two lunch box from her bag and then looked confused.

“What’s wrong, Maki-chan?” I asked in surprise.

“I-I forgot the chopsticks…” She showed some shade of red in her face. I think she is blushing of humiliation.

I just let out of a small giggle “…Maki-chan, you silly…” I then gave her a smile and patted her head. She was now even more embarrassed.

“A-Anyway, could you please wait here… I will buy some pair of chopstick at a nearby shop… I will be back soon…” She announced.

“OK!” I answered with my best smile as she stood up and exited the park.

[-x-x-x-]

I let go of a sigh as I watched the clock. “Already ten minutes…” I complained as I realized Maki hasn’t returned yet. I just let out of another sigh and closed my eyes.

“Honoka-chan…?” Suddenly, I familiar soft voice called for me.

As I opened my eyes, I saw Kotori standing just in front of me. “K-Kotori-chan… Good morning!” I was taken by surprise.

“Good morning, Honoka-chan… Did you come here alone?” She smiled at me.

“No… I came with Maki-chan, but she went buying something minutes ago.”

“Maki-chan? So the rumors are true… A-Anyway, Congratulation!” She said awkwardly, but still smiled.

“Ah, thank you!” I awkwardly answered as well as I didn’t know what to do in this kind of situation.

“Say, Honoka-chan… Do you have a second? I would like to bring you somewhere…” She started fidgeting with the hem of her white skirt.

“Sure… But how about Maki-chan?” I asked her back.

“Don’t worry, I will mail her…” She answered as she picked her phone and called for someone.

After a while…

“It’s OK… She said to go ahead... She will catch us later…” Kotori then said after hanging her phone call.

I nodded in agreement and then stood from the cold bench.

“So… Where are we going?” I asked. Unfortunately, there was no answer… She just started walking toward the park’s exit. I just followed her, then.

We walked the alley, quietly, and slowly. My strength was less than a week ago, so I had to walk really slowly. Kotori must have realized my weakness as she reduced her speed and offered a hand to help me. I grabbed her hand and we walked side by side.

After about twenty minutes of walking, we finally arrived at a Church. That building was so bright, beautiful, and joyful. Kotori then opened the door and led me in.

As we entered, the first thing I realized was a very bright place, filled with bench and at the deep end of the alley were an altar. There were many beautiful windows all around that huge room.

Kotori walked the alley as I was still clinging to her. Once in front of the altar, she let go of me, joint her arm and closed her eyes. I was surprised at first, but soon realized she was praying, so I shut my month.

After a while, she re-opened her eyes and turn toward me. “Honoka-chan, May I…?” She asked me, taking out a Rosario from her pocket. I just nodded, closed my eyes and joint my arms. “May God’s blessing rain upon you!” She prayed for me.

After that, I opened my eyes and saw her beautiful smile.

“Honoka-chan… I guess it is time for you to know the truth I was trying to hide…” She then said as she started watching the floor.

“Truth… What do you mean?” I asked in surprise.

She paused for a couple of second, and then lifted her head. “Honoka-chan… The time has come… I have to tell you why I did reject you on that day…” She announced.


	6. Forever

“Honoka-chan… The time has come… I have to tell you why I did reject you on that day…” Kotori announced. That took me by surprise. I was left speechless. I just nodded and heard her story. “You know, Honoka-chan… I’ve liked you for a while now… But I was forced to shut these feelings…” She started. I just listened carefully to each word she told. “And the day you confessed… I fell something really painful through my chest… I fell hurt because… Whenever how much I love you and how much you cared about me… Fate is so cruel…” She started to break into tears.

The Church was empty at that time. We were alone here, the two of us breaking into tears.

“K-Kotori-chan…” I gently took her into my arms and placed her on my chest. “Let it out; let it out…” I patted her head as she sobbed on my embrace.

We both stayed silent for a couple of minute, until she gently pushed me as I led go of her. “That’s unfair you know…” She spoke again “You are always so kind to me, though I did bad things to you…”

“T-that’s,” I answered “I have to admit it was really painful at first, but then I realized… You were suffering too… I realized now, your tears on that day…”

“H-Honoka-chan…” She called as she broke again in tears. “I’m sorry… I should have told you the truth sooner, but I didn’t have guts… I’m sorry…” She continued.

“Calm down, Kotori-chan… Could you explain?”

“Fine,” She wiped her tears with her arm as lifted her head so we were now looking at each other’s eyes. “…You know… The truth is… I am going to become a sister once I graduate…” She announced, and then looked down at the floor.

I was surprised by that revelation. Silence filled the room as I couldn’t believe whet I just heard.

“Honoka-chan, the truth is that I was chosen to follow this path since my thirteen… It was decided by my entire family member as for this church…” She continued.

“You know… The Minami family is not only limited to Mother and me… There is plenty of other… And there is a family tradition that forces at least a girl from the family to choose this path… I was one of these…” She said, sobbing. “…So, as I accepted that path for all my peers… With that, I renounced at any kind of romantic love…” She continued “…Honoka-chan, that’s why I had to turn you down on that day… I’m so sorry Honoka-chan…” She let go of more sobs. “Honoka-chan, you should have lived a happy life, but because of me… I should be the one paying, not you!” She raised her sad voice at that statement.

“That’s not true!” I raised my voice too as I wiped the tears in my eyes. “That’s not true… You did this for lot of people’s sake. Plus, I know that you did so much good things… You helped us a lot since our childhood. I’m so happy I could have met you. I never regretted any second I spent with the µ’s… I never regretted being in love with you…” My voice was starting lo lower as tears wouldn’t stop flowing from my eyes.

“Honoka-chan…” She let of another sob “…I never regretted loving you too… If I could have back in time, I would have told you sooner…” She fell on her knees.

I cam closer to my friend and hugged her. “Kotori-chan… Thank you for your honesty, your kindness, and your love… I love you!” I gently whispered.

“Honoka-chan… Thank you… for everything…” She weakly answered.

[-x-x-x-]

I knew the truth behind everything now. I thanked Kotori for being honest, then waved goodbye. As I walked the hallway, I stopped before exiting the Church…

“Say, Kotori-chan…” I turned to her. “I’m so happy I befriended you on our childhood… I realized now… You were always by my side, so thank you for always cheering us…” I took a deep breath. “I know now what to do… So, could you please come with us one last time…? At January 1st, could you please meet us at the hospital…? There is a place I want to bring you and Maki-chan to…”

She just nodded and gave me a gentle smile as I exited the building.

Once outside, the first thing I realized was the cold wind… But as I watched closer, I saw Maki sitting on a bench at the other side of the road. I quickly walked toward her. “Maki-chan…”

“So, you’re done?” She asked me with a smile.

“Yes…” I answered “…So, did you know about Kotori-chan’s plan?” She didn’t say a word. I take that as a yes.

“She actually wanted to talk to you by any mean…” Maki said out of blue as we resumed our walk. I just listened to what she had to say. “You see… Since that day, when Kotori surprised us kissing, I tried to contact her… but in vain…” She continued as I wrapped my arm around her waist by the side. “…That was since yesterday when she called me and said she couldn’t hold it any longer and needed to reveal everything to you… After talking for a while, I knew her feelings were honest, so I agreed…”

“So… this morning…” I stated out.

“…Yeah, I pretended to have forgotten the chopstick and leaved, so you two could have free time to talk…”

“I see…”

We remained silent for some minutes as we walked back toward our house.

“Say, Maki-chan…” I finally decided to break the silence. “…There is a place I want you and Kotori-chan to go with me on the day of the New Year… Is it OK?”

“Of course!”

I then came closer to her and held her arm as we remained silent during the rest of the trip. After half an hour, we arrived at the Kousaka house.

“So, I’ll be going…” Maki suddenly said as she stopped walking.

“What? Aren’t you going to stay a little longer?”

“Sorry, but I have to go home earlier…” She answered.

I just gave her a smile and nodded. “OK! Wish your family a happy Christmas from me!”

“Yes! See you tomorrow, Honoka…” She waved goodbye and walked her way as I stepped into the house.

“I’m home!” I shouted out as I saw my Mother and Yukiho sitting around the table.

“Welcome home!” They said in unison.

“How was the date?” Mom started to tease me. I blushed at the statement.

“I-I guess it was OK… So… I think I will go rest in my room a bit…” I was trying to avoid more embarrassing questions. They just nodded in unison as I walked toward the stair, and then into my room.

[-x-x-x-]

I woke up in the middle of the night as I could feel my breathing has stopped. “Hyaa…” I couldn’t manage to say a word as I was starting to suffocate.

“Sis… What’s wrong?” Yukiho, who was sleeping with me, realized I wasn’t well. Her eyes quickly widened. “Sis…” She shouted as my eyes were slowly closing, my vision becoming dark. After that, I didn’t feel my body anymore. I lost conscious maybe…

When I opened my eyes again, the first thing I saw was white ceiling.

“So, I’m back here…” I commented as I realized I am back at the seventh floor of the hospital.

I then decided to look around, just turning my head left and right because I was too tired and fell weak, I couldn’t move my body. The room was really dark. I suppose it’s still the night. I then decided to close back my eyes and went back to sleep.

That time, I didn’t remember about any kind of dream. Maybe I didn’t dream on that day. After what looked like ten minutes, I opened my eyes.

“Ah, so you’re awake! I’m really glad.” Maki said, sitting on a pliable chair with a smile.

“Hehe…” I just smiled back as I was trying to stand up.

“Don’t force yourself.” She quickly ran toward my direction and gently put me back on the bed. “You should rest a bit more…” She said as she took something from her helper’s uniform pocket.

“May I take your temperature?” She asked as she pointed a thermometer into my direction. I nodded, and then smiled at her. I then opened my mouth and allowed the thermometer in. Not long after, a beep signaled the end of the séance.

“36.4°C… It’s still OK!” She pointed out. We smiled at each other as I laid my head back on the pillow. “You should rest a bit more. I’m going to the cafeteria. Do you need anything?” Maki put the thermometer on a the bedside table.

“Could you just bring me a loaf of bread?” I asked as I fell my stomach was empty.

“OK! I’ll be right back!” Maki announced as she exited the room.

I was now left alone in that huge room. “They must have panicked…” I muttered to myself, thinking about my family. “I guess I will give them a call later.” I thought to myself.

“So, you’re awake…” Suddenly, someone a familiar voice entered the room. I lifted my head in surprise.

“Hello, Kotori-chan!” I smiled at my best childhood friend.

“Hello, Honoka-chan!” She greeted me back with a heartwarming smile. She walked her way to a pliable chair near the bed where I was still sitting. “So Honoka-chan, how do you feel?” She asked with a caring tone.

“I’m just a little tired, but it’s OK…”

Kotori was looking at the floor, fiddling her fingers shyly.

“A-Anyway, I’m glad you could come today!” I tried to cheer her.

“Y-Yeah,” She shyly answered “After all, I had nothing else to do today, so I decided to spend the whole day with you… Of course, I already talked with Maki about it and she agreed.” She continued.

I just patted her head and smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re here.” I comforted her.

She then let herself fall into my embrace. “Honoka-chan…” Her head was now resting on my chest.

At that moment, someone entered the room. It was Maki, she giggled a little seeing Kotori and I on that embrace.

“Honoka, here’s your breakfast.” She said as she gave me a plastic bag while smiling. I was so glad to see that there was no malice in her tone. It made me happy to know that the two were in good term.

“Yes, thank you, Maki-chan!” I said as I took the bag she gave me. I then opened it as I fell weak of hunger and ate the bread. To my surprise, it was delicious… I then smiled at my two crush for giving me so much attention.

As I finished the delicious bread, I thanked both Maki and Kotori for being so caring.

“By the way, how much time was I unconscious?” I decided to change the subject.

Maki looked at the floor, then lifted her head “Unfortunately, you were unconscious for 6 days…”

“Heeeeiiiii…” I shouted in surprise. “So that mean today is the New Year day?” I asked loud.

“Y-yeah,” Kotori answered, unsure.

“So, that mean today is _‘the day’_ …” I muttered.

“Ah, now that I think about it, today is the day you wanted us to go somewhere…” Kotori pointed out.

“What time is it?” I asked hopping it’s not too late.

“It’s 09:00AM.” My girlfriend announced.

“OK! We can still make it!” I announced as I stood from the bed.

“Wait! You shouldn’t push yourself too hard yet.” Maki pointed out with a caring tone. But as I stood up on my feet, my head fell a little dizzy. But after some second, it faded away.

“Let’s go, girls!” I led the way toward the exit. We then quickly walked toward the elevator. It was New Year, so many of the nurses and helper are taking a break today. That meant we could have easily exited the building without getting caught. As we go out, I was taking the lead cheerfully as my two friends were following.

“Honoka-chan, so where are we going?” Kotori asked.

“At the metro station, of course!” I answered. They looked at each other for a moment and let out of some giggles.

“That’s our Honoka.” Maki cheerfully said.

After about twenty minutes, we arrived at the B station. It was calm and there were neither policemen nor any king of security guard.

“They were right; this station is easier to access…” I muttered.

“What?” Kotori asked in surprise.

“No, it’s nothing.” I reassured them as we entered a train. Once inside, we took place next to each other. I was sitting in the middle as Maki sat on my right and Kotori on my left.

After an hour of trip, we exited the train. We both yawed after exiting that boring train.

“Ah, so here we are.” I cheerfully said. With that, we exited the station. Once outside, one could tell it was a beach, a very calm beach. “So, let’s go!” I led the way toward that deserted beach as these two followed me. We spent the day playing and eating, the three of us, alone on that wonderful beach.

While I was still wearing another dull sky blue pajama, Maki was clad in her helper’s outfit and Kotori was wearing what seemed like a nun’s attire.

At about 05:00PM, we watched the settling sun.

“It’s so beautiful…” Kotori pointed as she whipped a tear from her eyes.

Not long after that, a red car passed by and stopped nearby. I had much fluffy design; one could say it was a girl’s car. As the car stopped, two women exited the car and walked toward us.

“Good evening!” Yuuna greeted us.

“Good evening!” The three of us answered in unison.

“Ah Kotori-chan, you’re here too… I’m glad.” The older woman pointed out.

“Yes… good evening, Matsubara-san…” Kotori answered.

“Wait… You know each other?” I asked confused.

“Actually, Matsubara-san is a member of our Church as well. She used to go to the Catholic High School Michaels and is now a faithful member of our association.”

“Ah, I see…”

“So,” The other woman talked. She had long pink hair attached in a pair of tails. By her look, she was slightly younger than Nanami. “My turn ends here… Good day to you all…” She then walked back toward the car.

“Thank you for the lift, Nanami!” Yuuna thanked her as she entered the car, slightly bowed at us and took her leave.

“So?” Both Maki and Kotori were now confused.

“Yuuna-Onee-chan, did you bring it?” I asked the elder woman, ignoring these two other’s confusion.

“Yes, I did!” She answered as she picked a bottle of wine from a bag she was holding. Both Maki and Kotori were surprised, but then giggled once again after a while. “It was actually from the Church’s special reserve. I had a hard time convincing my Uncle, but finally got it.” Yuuna said as she offered the bottle. “Now that I think of it, the last time I took a bottle of wine was few days before _‘she’_ passed away…” The woman looked down as her words died down.

“You mean… Hibari-chan?” Kotori asked, looking down as well.

Both Maki and I were confused.

“Torikai Hibari was a young member of our association as well.” Yuuna explained. “She used to go to all our conferences and was an active member. Unfortunately, she had a rather weak body and ended up being sent at the seventh…”

“Her funeral was so sad…” Kotori continued. “Poor Sora-chan! She loved her so much.”

“But I’m sure she is now resting in peace…” The blonde interrupted.

“I see…” That was all I could answer. I looked at the sky and let my thoughts wonder. I thought about how my funeral would be, how will my friend feel, what about my parents. I looked back at Maki and Kotori as tears ran through my eyes. “So, let’s drink this, then!” I announced as I quickly wiped these tears. They all nodded in agreement and both of us played and drank until it was dark.

[-x-x-x-]

“Should we go, then?” I proposed as we watched the clock.

“Already 07:00PM!?” Maki pointed out. With that, we packed all our stuff and quickly took the train.

The trip lasted for an hour. As we arrived at the station, Yuuna waved us goodbye. The three of us then decided to walk out of the station together. After half an hour, we arrived at the hospital’s door. We quickly walked in, direction: the seventh.

We were now at the room. I sat on the bed as both Maki and Kotori did. “Now, it’s time to be serious!” I announced as two pair of eyes were carefully watching me. “Before I start, I have to tell you I spent a very wonderful day with both of you! I’m so glad we could have so much fun together.” I started. “I’m so glad you entered in my life, and loved me so much… I’m really grateful”

My voice was starting to shake. I could see the concern of the other two’s face, but decided to continue.

“We had lot of happy times together… We fought many other difficulties… And even though, I’m just a useless idiot, you stayed by my side…” The three of us were sobbing now. “You both stayed by my side because you love me… But, it’s so unfair… You sacrificed so much just for the idiot I am…” Tears were filling the room. “I love you so much… That’s why it hurts me to see you suffer… You still have many years ahead of you…”

I continued my monologue.

“Maki-chan, thank you for remaining by my side through all these sad moments…”

I grabbed her hand as she sobbed and nodded as an answer.

“Kotori-chan, thank you for being a caring and honest friend… Thank you for everything you did for me…”

Kotori broke into loud tears as I grabbed her arm and patted her head.

“Maki-chan, Kotori-chan, thank you!” I said them with all my purest feelings. We smiled at each others for the last time.

After that, we both cried at each other’s arm for about ten minutes. After being satisfied, we both stood up. Maki and Kotori both walked toward the exit as I waved at them.

“Thank you! Please be happy!” That was the last thing I told them. I waited for ten minutes before sitting back on the bed and breaking into tears. _“I love you so much! That’s why, I want you to be happy!”_


	7. I will

“There…” I stated as I wore a black jacket, facing a grand mirror. I was only wearing a black outfit. I let go of a heavy and pained sigh as I watched the clock and the calendar.

**_“January 13… 08:00AM…”_ **

“Honoka…” I sadly pronounced her name. The last time we meet was on New Year… That was a sorrowful day…

“Maki, are you ready yet?” Mother entered the room.

“Yes…” I weakly answered.

“Maki… I’m sorry for your friend… So young…” She looked down. I just remained quiet. “A-Anyway, the funeral begins at 10:00AM, so could you please bring this box to the Principal Minami? I still have many things to do…” She handed over a small black box.

“It’s OK! I’m off then…” I answered as I exited the house. It was still cold outside, so I wore a dark-colored scarf and quickly walked toward the Minami residence. Once there, I was greed by Kotori.

“Kotori, my mother sent me here to give this to your mother…” I explained.

“Ah, I see… Come on, Maki… Get in.” She answered as I entered the house. Then, we walked toward the living room where the Principal Minami where working on something. “Mom, Maki is here to bring a pack for you…” Kotori explained.

“Ah, thank you, Maki-chan… You helped me… I will have to work on this for a while… Kotori, how about you talked about some things in your room…” The principal proposed. We just nodded, and then went upstairs. We entered Kotori’s room.

The two of us sat around the small table at the middle of the room. “So, long time not seen…” I awkwardly tried to initiate a chat.

“Yeah…” She weakly answered. Now that I thought of it, the last time I met Kotori was on New Year… She was now wearing a dark outfit, just like mines today…

“So, how was thing lately…?” I tried to find a subject of conversation.

“I-I miss Honoka…” She let go of some tears. I quickly went closer and wrapped her in my arms. “You know, Maki-chan… After a long discussion, they decided I won’t become a sister anymore…” She sobbed. “They said I was impure… Because I fell in love with Honoka… and with you…” She announced. I was speechless. “Maki… I’m scared… I don’t want to loose anymore… Maki… I realized it now… I want to spend my life with you…” She continued.

I was still speechless. We both stayed quiet for many minutes.

“You know Kotori…” I talked again after a while “…I loved Honoka so much… but I realized it now… Thank you for loving me too…” I leaned closer and kissed her forehead.

“Maki…” She sobbed louder in my arms

“There, there… I am here… I will stay by your side.” I tried to comfort her.

[-x-x-x-]

We arrived at the Church’s door. We stopped a while before entering.

“Are you OK, Kotori?” I asked her to be sure.

“Yeah… I’ve prepared to this.” She answered.

With that, we entered the building. Once inside, we were first greed by Honoka’s little sister. “Good morning, you two…” She said with a sad smile.

“Good morning, Yukiho…” We both answered as she led us toward our sit.

The three of us walked the hallway as the other guests – who were all wearing darkish clothes – looked at us. We arrived at the end of the road. In front of us was a coffin.

“Honoka-chan…” Kotori let out of some silent tears. I held her arm tighter.

“Let us begin, then…” The priest standing in front of us announced. Both of us took seat on a large bench.

“Kotori… are you OK?” I asked caring about her. She just nodded as an answer. With that, the funeral started.

It lasted about one hour. After it ended, the opened the coffin and the guest took their turn to see their friend/daughter/sister… It was our turn now… We went closer to the altar. Kotori held my hand tighter. We were now facing the now open coffin. Tears ran through my cheeks.

“Honoka…” I silently muttered to myself. She was wearing a white dress and a calm expression on her now cold face.

Her skin was so pale; one could say it was between white and gray. She had her arm crossed and holding a white flower in her hands.

“Narcissus…” I recognized that flower; Narcissus, the flower that bloom in winter… They are mostly blooming in the Awaji Island; to be more accurate, they are really rare flower. In other word, there aren’t that many places in Japan where we could find these flower. I don’t think there might even be any in Akihabara.

After that, both Kotori and I said our last goodbye to our crush and silently walked outside the church.

“Thank you, Maki…” Kotori said as we were outside “…Thank you for standing by my side.” I smiled back at her as all the guests were now walking toward the cemetery.

**[Afterwards]**

I sighed looking at the window. “Seven years…” I sighed under my breath. Seven years has passed since Honoka’s funeral. I was now working as a doctor on that same hospital.

Kotori and I have now dated each other for five years. I became a doctor as she started working in the fashion domain. We started living together six months earlier, and I feel so complete with her by my side.

“Dr Nishikino…” Suddenly, my assistant brought me back into reality.

“Yes, what is it??”

“Your friend has arrived…”

“Alright… Let her in…”

With that, the nurse left the room as Kotori entered. “Good evening, Maki… Shall we go then?” The ash-haired proposed.

“Just a little bit… I still have something to do… A really important thing…” I answered her, while I was looking at some pieces of paper.

“Oh, I see… May I help you, then?”

“It’s OK… You can if you want.”

With that, we exited the office and went toward the hallways.

“So, what kind of work do you have to finish?” Kotori asked. I stopped for a couple of second before I talked again.

“Actually… There was a tragic accident few days ago. That left one little orphan girl.”

“So, you job is to…”

“Yeah… let’s see her.” I said as we walked the stairs to the third floor. Once we entered the room, the first thing we saw was a ginger-orange haired girl sitting on a bed. We then came closer to her.

“Good evening!” We both greeted her.

“Good evening…” She answered, unsure.

“I am the Dr Nishikino Maki and this is my friend Minami Kotori.” I introduced. She just nodded.

“So, are you here to talk about my parents?” She asked, her eyes looking down.

“So, you knew…?” I was looking down too.

“I heard Grandma went to the heaven…” She answered, still looking down.

“So, do you have any place to go… or someone to call?” I tried to ease the heavy atmosphere.

“No… I don’t have any family…” She sadly answered.

“How about you live with us?” Kotori proposed. I looked at her with surprise. She smiled at me, and I smiled at her. “So, what do you think?”

“But… I don’t want to be a charge for you… I am just a useless child…” She answered as tears ran from her innocent blue eyes. Kotori came closer and sat next to her before taking her into an embrace.

“No, you’re not useless… Everyone has the right to live and try… That’s why, please come with us.” Kotori proposed again. The girl didn’t answer; she just looked down and nodded. “It’s OK, then…” Kotori smiled at her.

“By the way what’s your name?” I asked her. She stayed silent for some seconds.

“I don’t remember…” She weakly replied.

“So, what name would you like?” Kotori asked calmly.

“I don’t know…” She answered.

We both stayed silent for a couple of minute, thinking about a name. After all, we need to give her a name if we want to adopt her. Silence filled the room for some minutes.

“Honoka…” I proposed out of nowhere “…How about Honoka? Do you like it?”

“Maki…?” Kotori was surprised.

“Yeah… I love this name…” The little girl answered as both of us started relaxing a bit.

“So, Honoka… How about we go home?” I proposed. Both Honoka and Kotori nodded and give a big smile as we exited the building.

After twenty minutes of driving, we arrived at our house. It was bigger than most houses in the neighborhood, but it was OK for three people.

“Honoka… Let’s enter…” I proposed as the three of us entered the house.

And that’s it. The next day, we went to the court and did our best to legally adopt Honoka. Of course, it ended up at our advantage. The three of us were now walking back home, while eating ice cream.

“I’m glad! From now on, you are member of the family too, Honoka-chan…” Kotori said with a smile.

“Yeah! Honoka is happy!” She answered.

“Honoka…?” We were surprised at that sudden change of pronoun. Why did she call herself in the third-person manner?

“Yeah! Because you gave me that name… You gave me that love… Honoka will cherish that name…” She answered with a smile. We both smiled back at her.

“Yes, Yes… Nishikino Honoka…” I said with a teasing tone. We broke into laugher after that.

“But, Honoka is really happy!” She answered with her big cheerful smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an edited version from the original story from FFN. Please visit my FFN account for the full version (including few bonus chapters and a short sequel).  
> Please visit http://www.fanfiction.net/u/7813646 for more stories.


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